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OWNING CHRISTMAS

1/6/2019

6 Comments

 
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Christmas is packed up. It’s taken three full days to get the house back to normal after the holidays, and it’s been exhausting. As my mother used to say, after the Lord Mayor’s show comes the donkey cart. To put it in contemporary terms—creating Christmas is festive; cleaning up after Christmas, not so much. So, why do I continue to put myself through this? A few friends, who keep holiday madness to a minimum, recently posed the same question.

I can’t use our kids as an excuse. They’re not kids anymore. My son, step-son, and step-daughter are creeping closer to middle age and, being the unconventional souls that they are, they could do without the traditional trappings of Christmas. There are no grandchildren to create Christmas for—no little faces to light up at the sight of the decorated tree, no little hands eager for Christmas cookies, no excited exclamations at the sight of filled Christmas stockings and wrapped gifts. Christmas has changed, but my husband and I haven’t. I should put up a sign: Beware - confirmed Christmas junkies live here.

Even though I moan about how much work it all is, once the house is wearing its happy, Christmas face, I feel a quiet contentment settle in. I begin to crave eggnog and the scent of mince pie baking. And then there’s the tree—I can’t see myself giving up the annual ritual of putting up and trimming a tree. Each ornament carries a special memory, from the miniature ballet shoes my grandmother gave me, to the delicate china tea cup purchased in London. My husband is no better. He plays Christmas music in November, and his collection of outdoor snowmen keeps growing, even though front-yard assembly is becoming a physical challenge.

As I’m shoving boxes onto a high shelf, I wonder if everyone’s right and it’s time to give most of this up? It’s a lot of work, and if no one but us cares about the house being all Christmassy, is there a point? On my last trip down the ladder, with my joints scolding me, I had a light bulb moment. Why do I think I shouldn't bother if I’m decorating only for us?

This line of thought goes way beyond Christmas. This is about being steeped in the ideology that one has to always put others first, and doing something just for your own enjoyment is self-indulgent. But honestly, who's insisting that I/we create a traditional Christmas for them? No one. Which means the doing-for-others philosophy is a smokescreen I’ve been hiding behind. If I were a millennial instead of a baby boomer, I don’t think I’d be having this conversation with myself. I feel like I am peeking out from under a blanket of years of conditioning. All of a sudden, the blanket is more cloying than comforting.

So, I'm tossing aside the mantle of martyrdom and, from now on, I will own my love of Christmas schmaltz with no explanations or justifications given. Our holidays will be exactly as over-the-top or low-key as our elfish, Christmas hearts’ desire. That doesn’t mean you might not hear some very non-Christmassy expletives drifting out our front door as the reality of putting everything up meets the limitations of aging bodies, but once I spike the eggnog, it will all smooth out. Trust me on this one.

6 Comments
Jo
1/6/2019 10:56:57 am

Your tree always looks so pretty
It’s a real feel good moment when you put the lights on and they work

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Eva
1/6/2019 12:35:38 pm

If you love it, you keep doing it, for yourself. Honestly, you can trim down stuff and still have the same effect--a result that gives you joy.

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Rita Reynolds link
1/6/2019 02:47:09 pm

Just keep doing what you love to do, and in your mind and soul you know that people love to see all those decorations but just like me, we are really doing it for our own joy!

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sandy
1/7/2019 06:53:23 pm

so. this is by far my favorite of your shared writing so far. thank you, my friend, for putting what i have been feeling into such eloquent words.

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Joyce Austin
1/8/2019 08:03:39 am

Lynn,
My mom always decorated for ALL holidays and i too wondered how she did it year after year, after we were grown and the grand kids grew and/or moved away. I know she enjoyed it as much as you do, just the festive atmosphere that is created. That also was a hard thing to deal with when she passed away, Grandma Barry's Christmas things would not all be put out each year. My kids, her grand kids received the items that would bring their holiday memories of her alive for them to enjoy each year.
I myself have not decorated too much the last few years. This last year alone due to being on crutches from my fall from my horse. 2019 shall see a change in that. I am determined to get my decorations up early before the year end madness at work creeps in!
Yes the music, it truly can sooth the soul. Dave playing Christmas music in the conference room (Trans Siberian Orchestra if i remember right) each year at CNI was always a treat! I have missed those days.
Your home has always been the epitome of Christmas in my mind. My grand kids have enjoyed multiple afternoons of decorating the tree and cookies and the train set for sure!!
You may not have biological grand kids, but mine have truly enjoyed your gift of giving as you always do, sharing your home and heart and warmth with whoever would like to join in.
Merry Christmas Lynn, keep the wonder going...

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Nancy G
1/10/2019 10:31:27 am

You go Girl! Love that you and Dave are really into it! Let's hear it for the Christmas Junkies!
I SO wanted to just say "screw it...I'm not doing the whole 9 yards" this year, especially with the 2 week trip to FL that I didn't get home from till the 19th. BUT... since I do have grand kids, I felt compelled to do it for them. I admit it was nice to see and I enjoyed it all once the decorating was done and I know the kids loved it. That joy was equaled or exceeded though when I took it all down and put it away.

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    Lynn Nicholas - AUTHOR oF Dancing Between The Beats

    My blog is a window into my world. My slice-of-life narratives are triggered by life's
    moments  that transform or reveal.
    Please check out my published short fiction. Most stories are character-driven, situational and, just like life, sometimes humorous. Click for Amazon author page 

    LOOK for Dancing Between the Beats on Amazon and Barnes&Noble.com 

    —Lynn Nicholas

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